Professional bedazzler. Silent film actress. Food writer. Professional mean person. Librarian. Driver of important goods over long distances. Critic of anything. Hair cutter. Nail painter. Flight attendant. Prospering small business owner. Pen tester. Pastry chef. Boot thief. Hockey wife/mom. Screenwriter. Famous on the internet for nothing so I have to update my blog a lot. Make-up tester. Candle maker. Professionally funny. High-end prostitute. Cat sitter. Sleep test subject. Assistant to someone stupid and rich. Craftsperson. Beekeeper (Apiarist). Bartender with lots of hip friends. Manager at a high-end retail store. Anyone who has to give autographs. Crash test dummy. Tapestry weaver. Lush scientist. Disney theme park Snow White. Part of a male/female music duo. Bed tester. Candy tester. Docent. Ice cream flavor combination creator. Wizard.
First day of work/class down, I had an inkling this semester was going to be stupid but today confirmed that my MWF’s will be a total joke, which leaves me almost unlimited free time. My “job” entitles me to a desk, a title (Student Assistant), and Faculty status on the website. ROTFLOL. Such power. The secretary who oversees my post is named Laurel and she’s a total weirdo. I put the copier passcode into my phone in case I forgot it and she gave me a lecture about cellphones and identity theft. I foresee us becoming close companions. My lone MWF class, Women in Asia, has the potential to be one of the most boring classes I have ever taken. I say this not because of subject content, but because of the monotone professor and also because it is the warmest class in the entire building, lulling you into naps on naps on naps. I accidentally sat behind my high school chem lab partner, he’s fat and he stinks and I heard he beats his girlfriend, which makes it kind of funny that he’s in a class that I’m only taking because its part of my Women’s Studies minor. It’s awkward because we don’t talk. And also because he’s a spoiled brat jock who beats his girlfriend.
Its nice being back in my little sugar room, though. Currently Red Velvet candle scented and my multiple white blankets keep me semi-warm even despite the fact that we had to turn our heater almost completely off so we could pay our bills, lol again. I’ve just put on yoga pants, which means I have two possible options of things to do at this moment. I could eat vegetable soup and arrange my pillows like a person and take a nap, OR begin my fitness routine.